Title: Compilation Something-or-Other
Author: Tha Wrecka
Disclaimer: This didn't happen. The author of the following work of fiction intends no defamation. All resemblances to real events are coincidences, all departures from fact are creative license.
Summary: Shige doesn't know what he wants but he knows it isn't this.
Warnings: Ryo/Shige, Shige/Koyama, other pairings implied (esp Tegoshi/everyone), boys being stupid.
Feedback: Would make me happy as long as it's not flamey. Via comments or to my email.
Notes: Thank you to seraphcelene for looking over the first draft and violetsquirrel for thorough and frequent betawork. 3706 words holy crap. I listened to Bonnie Pink's Reminiscence album the whole time I wrote this and it's probably a bit obvious how much I listened to just Perfect and That's Just What You Are.
They sat down together. Koyama let his arm fall over Shige's shoulders and they settled that way. It was warm and comfortable on the couch and Shige felt the low hum of noises from the television relaxing him. Sleep was trying to drag him down.
Koyama laughed gently and Shige could feel it all down his side in the places they touched.
Shige wasn't paying attention to the TV.
Shige leaned into Koyama and tried to breathe in his scent as inconspicuously as possible. Perhaps Koyama felt the movement against his shoulders or maybe he just wanted to take a break from the program at that point. Koyama turned and they were looking at each other. Koyama's eyes were hot and familiar. The fondness in that look made the breath catch in Shige's throat.
"Tired?" Koyama asked, left hand combing through Shige's hair.
Koyama's fingers pressed against Shige's head in just the way he liked. Shige leaned into Koyama's other hand on the side of his face like a happy cat.
"No," Shige murmured.
"Good," Koyama replied and bent to kiss him.
Koyama's kisses were soft and unhurried. Shige couldn't help but wish they would do this more often. He wanted to crawl inside Koyama and never come out.
Koyama's palm made its way down Shige's back and the lingering touches woke up Shige's skin.
Shige dragged his hand to Koyama's hip and squeezed. Shige's name escaped Koyama's mouth on a gasp and his shudders rippled through both of them.
Shige didn't want to stop. He wanted to rock himself in the cradle of Kei's thighs until the world came apart, so he pushed Koyama flat on the couch and did just that.
It got late and then Koyama drove him home. "I'll call you tomorrow."
Shige turned to open the door.
"Wait!" Koyama said, catching Shige's elbow.
Koyama leaned over and kissed Shige, quickly, intensely. "Let's meet on the weekend."
"Okay." Shige smiled to himself and got out of the car.
Tegoshi was perched on Koyama's lap, pouting. Six months ago such a thing would have made him look cute but now that his efforts away from the group had sluiced the baby fat from his bones it was just childish. Shige dropped his can of hairspray.
He bent down, fumbling to pick it up with suddenly clumsy fingers. When he stood up again Tegoshi was biting Koyama's shoulder and Koyama was patting his back. Honestly, Shige saw no reason why Tegoshi shouldn't have grown out of that bizarre habit.
"Tegoshi," Yamapi barked in warning. He looked tired and bloated.
Tegoshi instantly sat up straight.
"Get up and get ready. We don't have time to play around," Yamapi said.
Yamapi dragged a hesitant Tegoshi upright and thrust him in another direction.
Koyama just watched Tegoshi go with that placid, artless look he had.
Shige's fingers tightened on the hairspray as he looked away.
"You don't have to indulge him like that," Yamapi said in a low voice, followed by the clumping sound of footsteps.
Shige tried to look like he hadn't listened to the entire conversation.
Shige waited at the train station. He tried not to look to anxious and uncool waiting for Koyama but he couldn't help feeling that way.
He looked at his watch. Koyama was only a few minutes late. No need to worry, yet. Shige put his hand behind his back and tried to look casual.
Crowds rushed in and out. Shige wished, just a little, that someone would recognise him and take his mind off waiting.
Half an hour. He took out his phone, sent a message, played with the buttons a little.
An hour. Shige fussed with his clothes, brushing off invisible dust. The city was noisy around him and he tried not to focus on people rushing around him, wondered if he looked weird standing there by himself, waiting.
After an hour and a half he went home.
"You didn't show up," Shige said, carefully.
"What?" Koyama asked.
"You didn't call either," Shige continued.
"I'm sorry, I was busy," Koyama said.
"What were you doing? What was so important you couldn't even call?"
"I'll remember next time-"
"Shut up! That wasn't even what I was asking."
"Don't do that. Don't say my name like that!"
"Who were you with? I bet you were with him."
Koyama crossed his arms. "I don't even know what you're talking about."
"You were with Tegoshi, weren't you?" Shige burst out, face livid.
"So what if I was? He needed my help with something."
"So that's how it is."
"What the hell is your problem?" Koyama exploded.
"I'm going home to feed my cat," Shige declared.
"Your cat isn't even real," Koyama yelled.
"Clearly, neither is this relationship," Shige replied and stormed out, slamming the door behind him.
"He knows we're taping in ten minutes, right?" Masuda asked.
Shige finished with his hair, tidied the counter and put on a smile - a nice, wide, friendly smile, the kind that looks professional and pleasant.
He turned calmly. The dressing room was in disarray. The rest of the group fluttered about like crazy birds.
Tegoshi latched onto his side, smelling like hairspray and baby powder. "Shige."
"Shige, Shige, Shige."
"What?" Shige asked, still smiling resolutely.
"What's wrong, Shige?" Tegoshi asked.
Shige subtly shook his arm to hint that Tegoshi should let him go. Tegoshi missed the hint completely.
"What's wrong with your face, Shige?" Tegoshi asked, poking Shige's cheek indelicately with one of his skinny fingers.
Shige tried to shrug Tegoshi off again but Tegoshi wouldn't budge, just kept flapping at him. Shige feared he would never get him to stop.
It was then that Masuda called out, "Tegoshi!"
"Massu!" Tegoshi chirped.
Tegoshi's face lit up. He detached himself from Shige and bounced over to Masuda like a happy little duckling.
"Why aren't you with Koyama?" Ryo asked, smirking as usual.
"Does it matter? I'm sure he's happy being around other people."
"So you're happy for him to go off with Tegoshi?"
Shige said nothing, looked at nothing, just drank his coffee.
"It's no surprise that someone would rather be around Tegoshi than you. He is an awfully cute boy. So friendly, so talented, so easy to please. So eager to return the favour."
Shige's hand tightened around the cup, knuckles like points, rendering his skin white and red.
"And hasn't he gotten attractive lately," Ryo continued, with a rougher, quieter voice. "The way he moves. That voice. The pretty face, with those big eyes and that pouty mouth."
"I'm hotter than he is," Shige said.
"I guess you are," Ryo said, clearly amused.
Through the performance he smiled at Ryo. Ryo, who seemed to be smiling back in just the right way.
Afterwards, Ryo kept smiling at Shige in a way he knew should have made him wary, smiling like he could see right through Shige. Shige just kept smiling back.
Ryo came up close and whispered into Shige's ear. Instead of an insult he said, "Come with me somewhere after this."
And Shige said, "Okay."
Out of the corner of his eye Shige could see Tegoshi chasing stray sequins across the floor. Masuda was dawdling in putting a shirt on and Koyama...
Shige could see Koyama coming towards him and quickly said, "Ryo, you ready to go?"
Even with the hall light on it was dim in Ryo's place. Shige felt a little silly hiding in the shadows like this, but the feeling of anticipation was stronger.
Ryo came up to him, put his hand on the wall against Shige's head and leaned. Ryo was too short to really loom effectively but Shige didn't care. Leaned back a little to make it easier. Ryo moved slowly. Shige could only count the ticking of the clock until Ryo crowded him against the wall, close enough to feel his body heat.
Shige looked into Ryo's eyes, wide open and waiting. Finally, Ryo kissed him. At first it was only the gentle pressure of Ryo's soft, hot mouth against his. Ryo dragged a slow hand up the sleeve of Shige's jacket, then skimmed it over his shoulder before landing at his neck. Ryo's hand fit firmly around Shige's neck, thumb rubbing just under Shige's ear and fingers threading through the soft hairs at the back of his neck. The touch was electric, hair standing to attention as he felt his way through it. With a push of Ryo's thumb Shige's head tilted to just the right angle and he opened his mouth, breathed into the kiss.
The first touch of tongue was tentative, almost unsure. They slipped against each other, like dancers in a crowded room. Shige tried to chase Ryo all the way back into his mouth but Ryo pulled away. Breathed, "Bedroom."
Ryo moved and Shige followed.
They started kissing again, loose and sloppy, as they neared the bed. Mouths slid open, hot and wet. Shige sucked Ryo's lip into his mouth, scraped his teeth slightly over the firm flesh. Ryo took advantage of his distraction, slid his fingers under the collar of Shige's jacket and slipped it off his shoulders. It fell, empty and shapeless, on the floor beside the bed.
Shige slipped away from Ryo's mouth, kissed, instead, Ryo's chin, Ryo's neck, slid his mouth from Ryo's jaw to the fine arch of his cheekbone.
Ryo stepped back, moved onto the bed and Shige followed, sat carefully next to him, eyes barely open.
Ryo was a whirlwind of wandering hands. Shige felt like he could barely breathe.
Ryo attacked the buttons on Shige's shirt. Distracted as he was by kissing his way around Ryo's neck, Shige let it fall below his shoulder blades. He shook it off carelessly and aimed for Ryo's belt.
Shige only reached for Ryo, dragged his hand down the length of him once, before Ryo shook all over and lost it with a groan.
"No stamina at all," Shige mocked, a little disappointed.
"Shut up," Ryo replied, pissy glint in his eyes.
He turned around, pushed Shige back on the bed.
"Wha-?" Shige asked, momentarily confused, before Ryo started undoing his pants.
The clink and slide of the belt being unbuckled was loud in the dim room. The zip crackled open slowly.
"Are you really going to?" Shige asked.
Ryo answered with action and Shige's world narrowed to heat and wetness, the roughness of Ryo's hands and the steadily increasing rushing noise in Shige's head.
He climaxed and the world was muggy, strangely quiet but for the night sounds outside, traffic and the muted sounds from other apartments. He felt sweaty and cool and his throat felt dry. Somehow, the things in Shige's head seemed foggier than before.
He looked up to see Ryo spitting into a tissue. Reality was making itself known quicker than Shige liked.
Shige got up and put himself back together, picked his jacket up from the floor and moved out.
"Don't fall asleep on the train," Ryo called out.
Shige fell asleep on the train anyway.
When next they met, Koyama was strangely flat, dampened like he was moving underwater. He kept looking at Shige weirdly, as if he thought there was something weird or wrong about him. Shige scowled and looked away.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Koyama asked, reaching out to touch Shige's hair.
Shige ducked out of the way. "Nothing."
"Really, what is it?" Koyama asked, wearing a concerned face.
"I'm fine," Shige replied.
Shige ventured a small smile in Koyama's direction. The smile Koyama returned to him was goofy and more than a bit dazzling. Shige felt a tightness in his chest. He suddenly wanted to be sick.
Koyama did a silly little cheer, pretending his napkins were pom-poms, and the feeling only got worse.
"Come over again," Ryo said.
"I'm not going all the way to-"
"Fine. Let's go to your place."
"Are you sure that's a- I mean-"
"Don't you want to?" Ryo asked.
Shige couldn't help looking Ryo straight in the eyes. Ryo looked good, looked really good and was looking right back at him. He started to smile, gently, and Shige faltered.
"We'll talk," Ryo said. "It'll be nice."
They did talk, of many things, and it was nice until Shige realised Ryo's hand was on his thigh and then it all got hazy.
Now that Shige wanted to avoid Koyama he was everywhere. Endless missed calls from the same number. Messages Shige didn't want to read.
Ryo and Shige sat on the couch, kissing. Ryo's arm was flung across the back of the couch and the other leafed through the mess of Shige's hair. Their mouths pressed lightly together, tiny little fairy kisses.
Shige put his hand on Ryo's knee, opened his mouth a little. Ryo slide his tongue towards Shige's gums. It tickled. Shige jerked back, laughed.
"What?" Ryo asked, flopping his left hand about on top of the couch.
"That feels weird," Shige said.
Ryo rolled his eyes.
They moved toward each other again to resume when Shige's phone rang. He fumbled to pick it out of his pocket and answer.
"Shige!" It was Koyama.
"What's wrong?" Shige asked.
"Sudden problem with Nyanta! Looks too sad! Possible kitty depression!"
Shige closed his eyes. "Calm down."
"Am I a bad cat mummy?" Koyama wailed.
"But- But, what if-"
"Just pet your cat; he'll feel better."
"Okay! Okay." Koyama hung up.
Shige put his phone down on the floor. "Where were we?"
"I was just about to put my tongue back in your mouth."
They went back to kissing. Shige slipped his fingers under the edge of Ryo's sweater. Ryo did something really awesome with his tongue. Shige's phone rang.
"Ignore it," Ryo said.
Shige tried. He ignored it until it rang out and sighed in relief when it grew quiet. Four seconds later it started ringing again.
"I have to get it," Shige said, leaning over the couch to pick up his phone. "What?"
"Shige!" It was Koyama again.
"What is it now?" Shige asked.
"I can't find my favourite shoes. Have you seen them?"
"Did I leave them at your house?"
"I don't know."
"Check under your bed. They could have slipped under there, possibly."
"I can't. I'm not home."
"Oh, I didn't know."
"I'm with a friend and we're in the middle of something."
"Yeah, so I'll call you later."
Shige hung up, cutting Koyama off in the middle of his goodbye.
He turned back to Ryo who was looking impatient and unimpressed. "Sorry."
Ryo glared. "Just kiss me again."
So he did, almost knocking Shige over. Shige placed his arms around Ryo's neck and leaned back against the couch to anchor himself. Ryo licked his way into Shige's mouth and Shige shivered all over, the good kind of shiver. Ryo was a hot blanket over his body that Shige just wanted to let himself melt underneath.
The phone rang. Shige turned off his phone and threw it somewhere over his shoulder.
"Finally!" Ryo yelled and allowed Shige to help him out of his shirt.
They moved across the floor that was littered in glitter to a nice dim corner under the scaffolding. Shige hadn't finished putting his shirt on but the rest of him was properly put together.
Koyama threw an arm around his neck, warm against bare skin, and leaned in to speak. Shige sneezed.
"You smell like cat," he said. Sneezed again.
Koyama pouted, moved his arm.
"I cuddled Nyanta all night because you turned your phone off and I missed you."
"And now you're allergic to me," Koyama wailed.
"It's not my fault I'm allergic to cats," Shige snapped.
His head felt heavy and gross and pressure was building between his eyes.
Koyama looked pitiful. Shige's chest hurt, his throat hurt, his eyes were watering.
"Don't make that face! I can't hug you because I can't stop sneezing."
Whatever Koyama had planned to say was cut off by Tegoshi appearing, as if from nowhere, to hug Koyama's side. "Kei-chan! Good morning~"
Shige walked away.
Ryo and Shige were lying on the bed sideways, Shige's right leg slipping between Ryo's knees, his hands moving through Ryo's hair. Ryo was breathing loudly, little hissy noises and sounds that were starting to grow into moans.
Their mouths were getting slippery. Ryo's teeth slid over Shige's top lip, his tongue slid against Shige's.
Shige's fingers rifled through Ryo's hair.
Things were getting kind of hot--
"Shige, I think I left my book-"
--and then Koyama came in.
Shige scrambled to the side of the bed, eyes wide.
The silence hung in the air. Shige didn't know where to look. Koyama stood, hand still draped on the doorknob.
"Why are you here?" Ryo asked.
"He's my best friend. Why wouldn't I be here?" Koyama replied.
"Right, whatever, I'm going home," Ryo said and stalked out, a dark blur.
"Ryo-" Shige called but didn't bother to get up to chase him.
Moments later, the front door slammed shut and Shige moved forward to sit properly on the edge of the bed. Koyama quietly moved to sit beside him. Shige looked at his knees and breathed in and let his hand came to rest on the bedspread between them.
The clock ticked in the hallway.
"I'll talk to you tomorrow," Koyama said and left.
They met outside the building, as the workday whirled to life.
"How long has this been going on?" Koyama's voice was subdued, no joy or energy. It sounded wrong, like a not-Koyama.
Shige looked up.
"No, actually, I don't want to know."
"It's not my business, right? It's your life. You can sleep with whoever you want. Why wouldn't you?"
"What do you want me to say?"
"Just say what you feel!"
"I don't know what I feel."
The sky was turning grey. Behind them Shige could hear the clink of glasses, beyond them the grumbling sounds of cars.
"I love you," Shige said, quietly.
"I need to be somewhere else." Koyama got up, walked away.
It was cold, deep into his bones and Shige didn't want to be alone outside when he could be alone inside where it was warm.
He dragged himself back inside and sat down on the couch, away from where the others were primping and practicing. It was stuffy, noisy. The air vent across the room was spitting out little more than dust. The building around him was alive with the humming noises of voices reaching towards song, rumbling sounds of conversations.
He wasn't sitting alone for long before Tegoshi pranced over, looking curious and horribly sympathetic.
"I don't want to talk about it."
Tegoshi smiled with his gentle mouth and laid hands over Shige, made a pillow of his shoulder. Tegoshi could be awfully annoying at times but he made a decent pillow; he was all cuddly and sweet, letting Shige lean against him and close his eyes.
"It'll be alright, Shige," Tegoshi said. "Just rest."
So it was, Shige gave Koyama his space to think about things.
Of course, they saw each other at work all the time. Their eyes would meet across the room and Koyama would go quiet and look away. Shige's smile would falter and melt from his face.
No nonsense conversations in the hallways. No calls before bedtime. Shige hadn't realised until then how hard he found it to sleep when he didn't end his day with Koyama's gently rolling voice in his ear. Instead there was only a steadily increasing static fuzz that didn't seem to go away no matter how much he tried to sleep it off.
The days dragged by in a blur of interesting costuming and awkward dance movements.
Koyama was far away and Shige didn't know how to breach the distance.
Ryo was almost as non-communicative.
He bumped into Shige shoulder-first, next to the water-cooler. Water spilled over Shige's fingers where they clutched the little plastic cup.
"Hey. So, don't worry about it," Ryo said.
"What?" Shige asked, confused and distracted.
"It got boring so let's not do it anymore."
Shige looked up and couldn't read Ryo's face at all. "Just put it behind us?"
"Yeah," Ryo said. Walked away toying with his water bottle.
Another day, another drab changing-room.
"Let's start over," Koyama said.
"I figured it out. Let's put all of that stuff behind us."
Koyama's voice sounded decisive, optimistic. The bright jewel tones were no comfort to Shige's ears. He felt like a huge, important part of himself was being left behind.
Shige smiled, or tried to, and the high points of his face hurt. He felt like he'd been running a marathon.
"Shige, will you go out with me?" Koyama asked.
"What?" Shige wasn't sure he was hearing right. That couldn't be what Koyama said because Shige was sure that he didn't want-
"Go out with me this-- No, wait, I'm working then. Sunday? Is Sunday good for you?"
"Yes," he said, feeling like he could breathe again. "Yes."
Shige smiled and Koyama smiled back.